This 2024 book by Peter McIndoe and Conner Gaydos is subtitled “The True Story of Mass Avian Murder and the Largest Surveillance Campaign in US History.”

Nothing makes me giggle more than seeing some dude holding up a “Birds Aren’t Real” sign at nearly every protest and sporting event. It tickles me even more than the “John 3:16” nutters. So when I found this book on the closeout rack at Barnes & Noble, I couldn’t resist buying it.

Have you ever watched a comedian who has a very finely constructed long joke that you really appreciate? At the payoff you think “wow that was really nicely done.” You can see where they’re coming from, and they obviously spent a lot of work refining it. You really appreciate the bit, but, what you don’t do, is laugh. That’s pretty much what this book was for me.

As I learned by studying at the Second City, good satire doesn’t overly rely on a wink-wink-nudge-nudge. Which this book leans into too heavily. Also, as I learned from Discordianism, not being able to tell if it’s meant as a joke is key to a good psychosocial-conspiracy.

For me, the authors made a terrible mistake in the early pages. A key moment in their historical timeline relies on events that occur at a Waffle House in Boise, Idaho.

But there is no Waffle House in Boise, Idaho. You see, as a magician, I am careful to avoid asserting evidence that can be easily, and concretely, refuted. If they had written “a waffle house,” that would not have blown apart my suspension of disbelief. How unfortunate.

That aside, there are many fun and compelling things about the book:

• The discussion of a hummingbird drone and the JFK assassination
• The description of online research as “YouTube videos of men yelling at their phones inside of trucks”
• The revelation that bird poop is a synthetic tracking liquid applied by drone birds to help surveil people
• The reason that ”birds” perch on power lines is to recharge their batteries. This is also the secret reason why many communities have not replaced overhead lines with safer, more reliable underground power.

My hat’s off to the authors, and overall this book is a fine accomplishment. I have been spoiled by the tighter, funnier, and more convincing shaggy dog tales proffered by the Discordians, and even the Church of the SubGenius. If you’d like to learn more about the Bird Truthers movement, pick up a copy at Amazon. However, if you want a real mindfck, go for The Illuminatus Trilogy instead.

23 Skidoo!

In The Home as a Place of Production, Karen Rosenkranz asks: “So what would an alternative vision for the home of the future look like?”

I think some clues are to be found in the past. In the pre-industrial era, the domestic dwelling was where most work took place. From shoemakers to blacksmiths or scholars, skilled workers made things out of their homes. Food was produced within or around the house. This was all part of life – making, mending and feeding oneself. The duality of life and work hadn’t been established yet.

via Dense Discovery

Today, I wasted a good half-hour of my life trying to find refill tape for my Brother P-Touch “Home and Hobby II” PT-85 Label Printer (catchy name). I have the old, empty cartridge and it clearly reads “M-K231 12mm 1/2”. Do you think that I can find a new one to buy? Nope. The Brother website literally has zero results for any combination of those words, and it is their product! A search on Amazon returns an overwhelming list of results, none of which are Brother-brand products, and none of which have the same part number or size.

Some third-party tapes are close. They have variants that are similar to M-K231, and they are nearly the same size (0.47”), but not a one of them is an exact match for what I need.

I’m guessing that Brother has stopped making this size tape (all their part numbers start with TZe), which isn’t surprising given that the label machine is easily 20 years old. What is surprising to me is that the no-name replacements sold on Amazon can’t be bothered to make it clear that they are compatible with the actual Brother part number.

Despite middling reviews related to adhesiveness, I ordered one of the knock-off label cartridge from Amazon. My irritation at how hard it was to find is exceeded only by my anxiety that what I receive will work or be any good. Stay tuned.

Update: The replacement tapes have arrived and they are physically identical to the Brother cartridge, but are labeled slightly differently than described on Amazon, and still different from the Brother cartridge. Reviews on the site mention that the labels are hard to peel, but the ones I received a split-back, so go figure. The cartridge does work just find, and the adhesive seems fine, although to my eye the black print isn’t as dark as it is with the Brother cartridge.

Writing for the once-great Chicago Sun Times, the fabulous columnist Neil Steinberg discovers what techies have known for years: Google can pull the plug at any time

This is very much a cautionary tale, and the lesson is that writers need to own their words. Sure, if someone is paying you for “content,” you don’t own that instantiation (pardon the programmer-speak), but you do morally own the product of your labor. Save it. Keep a plain text backup of every. single. thing. you. write. Always, and forever. I accomplish this in two ways: First off, I compose anything I intend to publish in Ulysses, so there’s a copy inside that app’s library. Secondly, I publish using MarsEdit, which also keeps a copy of what’s pushed to the website. That’s two back-ups, so to speak, built into my workflow. I don’t even have to think about it, as long as I follow my process.

For other things that I write — notes, email drafts, etc. — I do all that using Drafts. This app also has an automatic library of documents where I can find anything unfinished over the last few years. Again, it happens automatically, so long as I follow my self-imposed process of always using either Drafts or Ulysses, and nothing else.

On a related note, if you’re running your own site, WordPress, Ghost, and the ilk, are quick and easy, but have no longevity. For the technical among you, read, savor, and follow this: This Page is Designed to Last: A Manifesto for Preserving Content on the Web

The irony that you’re reading this on a TypePad-hosted website is not lost on me. I’ve been publishing here for over 20 years, so there is a lot of inertia against leaving the platform. TypePad is very much a zombie service, and they haven’t been accepting new customers for years now. I’m grateful the owners keep it running (sort of), but there’s no doubt that someday I’ll have to move. But when that pain-in-the-ass day comes, I won’t lose any of my words.

Today, the news hit that Richard Simmons has passed away. Now anyone who has ever seen me perform knows that I’m not exactly a fitness-centric person. However, Simmons’ death made be recall that when I was young, Jack LaLanne was the only guy preaching exercise. He was such a novelty that when he was a guest on Johnny Carson (which was frequently), he had to explain what he did and how he made his living. A fitness coach‽ An exercise instructor‽ It all seemed very Hollywood to me and my family.

Then came the era of Richard Simmons, and he changed everything. Followed, of course, by Jane Fonda. If you weren’t alive during this time, it might be difficult to imagine having just one or two fitness advocates, but that’s how it was before the “fitness industry” era.

Today, thanks to Peloton and Apple Fitness+, there are hundreds of professional exercise instructors and “fitness celebrities” to learn from. But just a few decades ago, there was one who started all, and another who brought it to the people. Hit the showers, Richard Simmons.

I was a very early adopter of Roomba robot vacuums. I’ve owned several models, including the ill-fated mopping “Scooba,” and my previous posts about these products remain some of the most popular articles that I’ve shared.

However, when I moved into a three-story home, the hassle of using a Roomba with stairs led me to sell all of my iRobot products. (I sold them to a battlebot competitor to use for parts!)

But recently, I bought a new Roomba and, boy, a lot has changed with the product over the years! It can now avoid stairs and (some) other obstacles that would previously cause it a lot of difficulty. (This New Yorker article about how it all works is quite enlightening.)

The product line has also become quite complicated. There are multiple series, with mysterious designators and inscrutable differences between them. I finally gave up and bought the one that Costco offered at the lowest price.

I’ve had a few hiccups, which I have mostly solved, so I offer these tips:

• The Roomba I bought doesn’t come with a user guide, and the iRobot documentation on their site is not only poorly written, it’s nearly impossible to search because of all the different models they offer. You’re better off just using Google to find YouTube videos (and blog posts like this one). But even then, remember that what you’re finding might be out of date or doesn’t apply to your particular model.
• The mapping function, in which the device “learns” the layout of your home, can take nearly a dozen runs before it completes. Extreme patience on your part will pay off eventually.
• If there’s an area that it simply won’t map, start, then pause a job (using the app). Pick up the Roomba and move it to the area that’s not mapped. Press the Clean button that’s on top of the Roomba. The status in the app will now read “Cleaning and discovering” and the area should be added to the map.



• Regarding the map, the definition of walls can be critical and tricky. If you have two adjacent rooms, if your delineation is off by just a couple of pixels, your unit will visit both rooms even when you tell it only vacuum one of them. You’ll have to move the location of the wall in the app to prevent this, even though in reality, the wall is not quite where it’s shown.


• Although the documentation doesn’t emphasize this at all, when you initially set up the device, you should place its base station where you intend to keep it located. If you fail to do so (like I did), don’t move the base station to its new location until the unit has fully completed its mapping of your home. Then you can move the base station, and the Roomba will figure out its new location after three or four runs. (Conjecture: A “clean everywhere” run might speed this process.)


• My Roomba is particularly annoying about sending alerts to change its filter and replace its debris bag. In fact, it started insisting the base station was “full” after just three runs, and I assure you, it was not. Get accustomed to ignoring these notifications and using your judgement. I am almost convinced this “feature” is a way for iRobot to sell more consumables.



• Finally, the biggest problem I’ve experienced with the new Roomba is that it hallucinates obstacles. About a third of the time when I start a run, it will exit the base station and travel a few feet, then pause for over a minute before returning to base and falsely reporting that there was something in the way. This is extremely frustrating and means that I cannot reliably use the scheduling function. I have contacted tech support, and they say to check the wheels (they are clean), and make sure lights are on in the room (they are).

Despite the glitches and annoyances, I’m glad to be back in the Roomba family as it does save a significant amount of time (when it works). Hopefully, these tips and observations will help you.

I don’t normally read fiction — and certainly not horror. I also haven’t watched very many episodes of the old Dark Shadows gothic soap opera.

So no one was more surprised than I was when I purchased a stack of used paperback novels based on the series.

Perhaps I was compelled by an unseen force? Or maybe it was a latent fondness for childhood memories of encountering the show when I was home sick from school? In any case, I left the Printers Row Lit Fest with the musty, but in good shape, stack of novels.

This book, titled simply Dark Shadows, is a 1966 publication by Marilyn Ross. It’s the first in a series of 32 novels. Although the cover of the book shows the vampire Barnabas Collins from the TV show, he is completely absent from this story. I didn’t miss him per se, but it was a bit of a surprise. (According to Wikipedia, he doesn’t appear in a story until the fourth novel.)

Although the books are based on the television shows, they don’t represent the same storyline. (Similar to how Marvel movies don’t follow the comic books.) So, alas, even if I were to read all 32 novels, I wouldn’t be able to compare notes with those who have watched the whole 1,225 episode series. (Believe it or not, I know four people who have!)

The book is compelling and fun to read. And from a writer’s perspective, it starts with a masterful exposition that sets everything up.

I also laughed with admiration at how Ross worked in a sly reference to the title of the series. (I suspect that there are other insider references that escape my notice and understanding.)

The character development, fast pace, and clever prose kept me engaged until the very end, and I surprised myself by immediately reaching for the next book in the stack that I had bought.

I’ve since learned that the books are somewhat sought after by collectors, so pick up a copy if you come across it in a used bookstore. If not for the nostalgia, for the craft.

About a year ago, I decided to buy a single-edged razor from Supply. I did it partially in a quest for a better shave, but also out of frustration at paying high prices for multirazor cartridge blades.

I tried, but hated, Dollar Shave Club. I also subscribed to Harry’s, and while I enjoy the lower price and convenience of a subscription, overall their quality is not impressive.

When I ordered the Supply razor online, I immediately started receiving emails with links to tutorial videos. This timing is poorly thought out, as without having the product in hand, the videos aren’t very helpful. Additionally, I was annoyed by the anti-tracking alerts my computer displayed every time I watched one.

Once the razor arrived, I quickly realized that the tutorials didn’t accurately reflect the true out-of-box experience of loading the first blade. Here’s what they left out: The razor ships with a metal shim where the blade goes. My shim was red. You need to remove that before installing a blade. In my case, the shim was stuck in place and the only way to remove it was to disassemble razor by removing the thumbscrew under the head, (The thumbscrew is another thing that’s not mentioned in the half-dozen tutorial movies they inundate new buyers with.)

Because I wasn’t sure how to load my first blade, I reached out to Supply via email, and then via text when I didn’t get a reply after a couple of days. Unfortunately, their eventual responses didn’t answer my question clearly.

I was off to a rocky start, for sure.

Also in the “poor experience” column, it’s not clear in the online store, but you get an 8-pack of blades with the handle. It’s nice to have the blades, but they should tell you exactly what’s included.

All that aside, the Supply razor consistently gives me the best home shave I’ve ever accomplished. It definitely takes some practice though, and here are my tips:

• Focus and do not rush. Do not let your mind wander when you shave. Enjoy the moment of mindfulness.
• Do not press. Not because you’ll cut yourself, but because you’ll weirdly get a closer shave with a light touch.
• Angles matter. Although all razor manufacturers will tell you to be aware of your whisker grain, it is even more important now. Additionally, make sure the Supply logo is against your face.
• When you replace the blade, its position in the handle matters. (Another fact omitted by the tutorial videos.) This is where the thumbscrew adjustment comes into play. See the photo below and note there are no cutouts visible above the cutting edge.

I also recommend buying the handle grip, particularly if you shave in the shower. The razor is heavy and can get quite slippery.

Overall, I’m pleased with the Supply, although I’ve kept my subscription to Harry’s for use when I travel. The Supply razor is simply too heavy and expensive for me to take it on the road. But when I’m away from home, I definitely miss it.

You can get blades from the Amazon, but for the razor itself, you have to order direct. (That way they can send you all those tutorial videos.) The razor I have is now called the “The Single Edge SE,” and the price has come down from what I paid. However, don’t believe that “no learning curve” ad copy, there will be an adjustment period from using multiblades.

This is a 2023 “self-help” book by Michael Easter. Definitely not the sort of book I typically read, but occasionally, I surprise myself.

Scarcity Brain was a compelling read, perhaps mostly because — unlike many publications of this genre — Mr. Easter writes in the first person and does not come off as preachy. The style is that it’s just one man’s account of his investigations into a subject that interests him.

Unfortunately, with this approach, it’s not a good resource for those who want to “do their own research” as there is a paucity of usable references and no bibliography. More than once I cringed at references to “a study found that…” without any detail about the “who, what, when, and where” provided. This is a surprising omission for Easter, he’s a college professor and journalist, but it does serve to keep the book breezy and readable.

The premise of the book is that “scarcity” has driven human behavior ever since our arrival. Scarcity consists of the opportunity to gain something, a degree of unpredictability about the outcome, and quick repeatability. It is the pursuit and anticipation of a reward that releases a dopamine high, not the actual receipt of the reward. We are compelled to persist in the face of uncertainty because it feels good to do so. (Also, quitters die.)

The book examines how this urge plays into many aspects of modern life, such as extreme sports, gambling, social media, politics, food, and more. It’s a fascinating take on what is really going on with people and driving so much obsessive behavior.

Some ideas and phrases that stuck me with:

• Slot machines are finely tuned to tickle the “scarcity brain” and, annually, take in $100 per American. That’s more than books, movies, and music combined.
• “Losses disguised as wins” is a key component of gaming. That is, bet $5 and get back $3, and it seems like a “win.”
• Although not his exact wording, Easter’s observations inspire me to declare Las Vegas the “The Vatican of Excess” — a turn of phrase I’m rather proud of.
• Humans overlook subtraction as an effective way to change things. Instead, we pursue more, more, and more. (A lesson I wish more software developers would learn, although Apple is pretty good at recognizing this.)
• “We need to ask the deeper questions and consider how we can find enough. Not too much, and not too little.” In other words, Goldilocks had the right idea.
• Better living through chemistry: Manufactured street drugs release a thousand-fold more dopamine than any naturally occurring substance.
• The rise of data, numbers, and figures is gamifying everyday life, and that impacts how we live, what we pay attention to, and what we pursue — the reward being a better “score” on our wrist computers.
• “Snacking” is a modern, post-war category of food. And the variety of food available now has ruined the sociability of eating. No longer do you have to accommodate the tastes of others or discover new things, everyone eats in their own “bubble” of preferences.
• We are exposed to more information in a single day than a 15th century human would encounter in their entire lives. Much of it designed to make us feel happy, sad, outraged, or correct. All so that we will keep looking and see more advertisements.
• Just as “slow food” is better for you than “fast food,” slow information gathering is better than Googling.

Well, there’s much, much more. I thoroughly enjoyed this book despite its flaws and annoying oversights of page layout. But, kudos to the designer who came up with these charming chapter headings:

I bought my copy on sale at Writer’s Block, but it’s also available to at the Amazon.

I don’t read many novels, but when I do it’s most often a noir-ish mystery story. I was attracted to this book in particular because its author is a conjuror who has written a classic textbook that I really admire.

The story is a bonafide classic “locked room” mystery, which adds an extra element of intrigue, and as it says in the book’s introduction, makes the story more of a “howdunit” instead of a “whodunit.”

The story, having been published in 1944, definitely has some dated references, such as a describing someone as resembling “an island of William Bendix entirely surrounded by Robert Taylor.” I’ll refrain from quoting the references which are decidedly not politically correct in today’s world. But in my opinion, these cultural artifacts don’t distract from the story, but instead cement it into a specific historical and cultural period. This is important, as the story takes place in real-time and modern readers must remember that certain technologies and practices are simply not available to the characters.

The book’s prose is wonderful and, if you’re so inclined, offers many rabbit holes to explore. Here are just a few of the new words, or delightful turns of phrase, that I enjoyed:

• According to the O.E.D.,gibber, as a noun, does not predate (1604) gibberish, the adjective. (1557). Surprising!
• “Her face still showed traces of a beauty which must have been flamboyant in her youth, but she had fought age with the wrong weapons.”
• An impassioned speech aimed at skeptics — “Some men steal. Doesn't show everybody's a thief. Doesn't even show the thieves dishonesty all the time. Come right down to it, the fact that some mediums cheat is positive proof of another world. Before a medium can fake a phenomenon, that phenomenon must have happened. Can't imitate anything that doesn't exist.”
• “Snatching at a straw and swallowing a camel.”
• Dottle is the remaining plug of unburnt tobacco and ashes left in the bottom of a tobacco pipe when it has been smoked.
• “Every trade marks a man. Mine is science. If that means anything at all it means becoming the slave of logic. An honest scientist spends his days fighting the will to believe, until at last he ceases to have any control over his own opinions. He follows logic as inevitably and as helplessly as water runs downhill. He can no longer believe anything because it is pleasant, or because everyone else does. Neither can he refuse to believe anything because it contravenes the theories on which he has based his entire life.”

Did I solve the mystery before the book revealed its secrets? I did not. But honestly, I didn’t even try. I never do. (I love the feeling of not knowing.) But if you’re the type that wants to outsmart the author, I assure you it’s possible with a careful reading and clever thinking.

Rim of the Pit is part of the American Mystery Classics collection, and I bought my copy at Mysterious Bookshop in NYC. However, you can obtain it from the Amazon or wherever fine books are sold. I predict that you’ll enjoy it.