This 1992 book is the story of Chicago’s Panczko brothers — “the gang that couldn’t steal straight.” It’s written by Ed Baumann and John O’Brien, two beloved and experienced Chicago newspaper crime reporters. The book is from a small Chicago publisher, seemingly now defunct, and took me quite a while to track down.

The Panczko family was, nearly to the person, a blue-collar crime syndicate on the North side of Chicago. The family’s patriarch, “Pops,” was called the Dean of Burglary by the Chicago Police, and in this book he is described as a Thomas Edison of breaking and entering. Among his many innovations were the invention of a tool that yanks the cylinders from door locks, being the first to wear rubber Halloween masks to conceal his identity, and being the reason that businesses starting enclosing safes in concrete. (So he couldn’t remove them and work on entry at his leisure.)

The book is smartly written, and sometimes laugh out loud funny. It gives a true voice to the era and the participants, and as a result, I learned some new slang and ethic slurs.

You might be wondering how the Panczko story ends. Well, I don’t know. I wanted to read it for research purposes, and while enjoyable, I soon found that the detail of every caper, betrayal, and life event in the family was not a productive use of my time. So, I didn’t finish the book. You’ll have to read it for yourself to find the ending. Let me know, willya?