Once upon a time, there were three little pigs.

The first little pig lived in a starter home that needed a lot of work. A lot of work. Fixing all the plumbing, electrical, and HVAC took all the pig’s time and money, so the rickety front door, which only closed if you pushed very hard, was just something to live with.

The second little pig lived in a tall condominium building. It was home to so many interesting people! People who loved to shop online, which brought many deliveries to the building. To save time for everyone, the access code that opened the front door was the same as the building’s street number.

The third little pig lived in a new home, inside a guard gated community. The home had a Ring video doorbell, fast Wi-Fi, and Bluetooth door locks. Unfortunately, the pig’s bank was acquired in a corporate merger and none of his auto-payment settings transferred correctly. When the electric company turned off his service, a wolf walked in and stole everything.

The end.